just a girl

march just a girl pic

Just a girl….

It seems to me lately that God, in His infinite wisdom, will not allow me to move on from certain topics in my life.

Have you ever felt that? Have you ever been led through a life lesson that you just kept having to learn? No matter how vehemently you plead your case to the Eternal that, Yes indeed – I have learned this lesson, it just keeps appearing in your rearview mirror? For the longest time that topic for me was patience. Everything that I did was a lesson in achieving that elusive attribute in my life. From waiting at the bottom of my driveway for a long line of cars to pass, when only moments ago there weren’t any, to sitting quietly in His presence waiting for inspiration to return to my weary brain. As a writer, this last instance was very difficult.

But God, don’t You know that I have a deadline? Don’t You know that others are counting on me? Don’t You know…???

Patience my love

Even though I have made great strides in this area, I still struggle at times.  I mean, this was His plan- right? It certainly wasn’t in my original life plan to write words of any sort, let alone the kind that would reveal my weaknesses and struggles. I find myself expecting that He should be doing His part to make it happen.  Yet at times I sit for hours and nothing comes. Or what I do pen, does not connect as I think it should.

Patience my love

And then there is my expectation that: if I am obedient to do as He asked, won’t success follow? I presume that it should come as quickly as the words He gives me. And when I have to wait, I doubt.

Patience my love

The enemy rears his ugly head and an assortment of feelings emerge: discontent, comparison, failure, unworthiness…as so many more I can’t sort it out most days.

But here’s the thing…

I’m just a girl.

I’m just a girl with a pen and paper.

I’m just a girl who would rather walk obediently toward His plan than her own.

I’m just a girl who passionately loves her Creator.

So no matter what, I am going to trust Him.

4 responses to “just a girl

  1. Loved the words God placed in your heart to share. I can so totally relate—waiting. Waiting for the words to come. Then realizing that the wait was the purpose. Time devoted to desperately seeking words was the Lord’s way of wooing me to spend time in His most holy, peaceful presence.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are just a girl that sets expectations on herself …..Like so many of us. You are so beautifully made sister. I love this – such a wonderful share. I am learning God is saying “just be” my child – I am so proud of you 🙂 He is so proud of you too – sister and leader. lots of love Vanessa

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks vanessa! Yes our expectations of ourselves can certainly set us off track….but he keeps redirecting my path. So glad that he is not giving up on me!!

    Like

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