Dear Vanessa ~ The Power of Love

feb 2 vanessa

Dear Vanessa,

I have been married for 10 years, and marriage feels dull.     No more flowers, open doors.  Sometimes I think, really is this what I signed up for?   As valentine’s approaches, I believe it is just another day.

Reena

Dearest Reena,

Yes sometimes relationships can feel this way.   Life sometimes becomes routine.   But do you think that sometimes it is in the eyes of the beholder?  I can only speak from my experiences, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but life is as we see it.

Relationships require work, every relationship requires work.  Whether the relationship is at home, at work, or with friends, what you put in is what you get out.     Sometimes, our actions create reactions.   Perhaps you need to take the first step?  Also, does your husband know how you feel?  Communication is essential and foundational in relationships. 

There was a time in my life when my life as I knew it was challenged.    Illness bombarded our household; and I was in a halo.   Not a beautiful golden halo as many are used to seeing, a halo to stabilize my neck 8lbs heavy.    During this time I realized so many things. 

  • I realized the woman is the center of the household, she organizes, she stabilizes and creates love and unity. Often I think that God made women because he saw things that Adam was lacking in, and that she provide balance.
  • I realized that my husband did so much with my children that my eyes never did see. The house was in disarray when I got home often at the end of a workday but he taught them how to read, played with them, and taught them so many foundational things.
  • I also saw a side of him that I didn’t like, anger. But I realized that this was driven from emotion where his whole world was turned upside down.  His wife was not the same physically.
  • I realized that in life sometimes we need to die to our own needs for the betterment of another. This was a BIG aha for me.  Sometimes we need to quit thinking selfishly of what we want or deserve.

At the heart of all of this was love.   Love for another, and realizing that sometimes we need to turn the cheek, or make the first step forward to create change.   

Love always wins.   If at the heart of your relationship is love, then you can make this work.   Life was not meant to be easy, it requires work and our whole heart to be in.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24)

I challenge all of you out there that believe that the Prince is coming on that white horse, to really dig deep and examine what your needs really are.  Take one step forward and communicate what you need.  Remember, there is so much power in our love for one another. 

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NAS)

May you be blessed beautiful lady.

Dear Lord God,

Two are better than one, help us to build a foundation that lasts forever with our spouses.  Help us to see the good before the bad, to put love first.  Remove the resentment, remove the anger, and fill our hearts with love.  I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen

Pop by to read some other posts on relationships

https://nesschesters.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/two-are-better-than-one-celebrating-15-years-of-marriage/

https://nesschesters.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/two-are-better-than-one/

 

If you would like to email Vanessa a question or comment you can contact her at nesschesters@gmail.com or visit her blog at www.nesschesters.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

7 responses to “Dear Vanessa ~ The Power of Love

  1. Marriage is something that I struggle with; my needs vs. his needs. Perhaps it was because I am very independent and took care of myself for so long, so it’s hard to give up control. So thank you for this enlightening message; its was something I needed to be reminded of.

    Like

  2. As someone who is not married but who would really like to be I don’t feel like I can say much.. But I think it may be wise to think about things you did at the beginning of your relationship

    Like

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