My friend Nancy has cancer.
The news struck me right in the pit of my stomachâ€¦not only because she is my friend and I love her, but also because she is the first one of my friends that I have grown up with, to be faced with her mortality. It makes me have to in turn look at my own, and face facts: Iâ€™m getting old, and these things will be happening more and more in the not-so-distant future.
She not only has one, but 3 areas that have been affectedâ€¦one of them is incurable and the other two, extremely resistant. Iâ€™ve held her hand, cried with her, and prayed.
Prayed a lot!
Iâ€™ve prayed for healing
Iâ€™ve prayed for strength
And Iâ€™ve prayed for a miracle.
And while I pray â€“ I wait.
Have you ever waited on a miracle? You just knew that if you prayed with your whole heart and soul that God would listenâ€¦that He would hear your plea and respond because of your faith.
And then I sat with Nancy, and I listened. Honestly, it was more like I just didnâ€™t know what else to say. She ran her fingers through what was left of her hair, hands trembling with the effort, explaining to me the enemy that she faces. And in that moment I could not see the miracle that I had prayed for. And my hearts plea lifted high: Lord ~ why? Why have you not shown mercy? Why are we still waiting on this miracle? Canâ€™t you see that time is short? We cannot wait any longer.
I pleaded in my heart to witness evidence of His greatness, of His mercy and grace. I wanted Him to show her the God I know. The God who has time and time again taken care of me and provided for my needs.
â€¦and then she began to tell me of all the little miracles that she had experienced.
The overwhelming love that she felt with each bite of a meal that was brought to her, from people she didnâ€™t even know.
How just as a bill came due that she couldnâ€™t pay, an unexpected check would find its way into her hands.
She continued down the list of blessings she had received, and then she looked at me and said, â€śI know that all of these miracles are because of the prayers that have been offered for me, and I am so thankful for them allâ€?
And then it hit meâ€¦.
Miracles were happening!
They werenâ€™t the specific BIG miracles that I have asked for, but they are evidence of Godâ€™s love for her just the same, and she was seeing them each and every day.
I wonâ€™t pretend to understand why some receive healing and others donâ€™t. Why some prayers are answered, and others arenâ€™t. But I do know this: God sees the big picture. He knows all and sees all and everything that He does is for the good of those who love Him. It may not fit into our picture of what good looks like, but I trust Him with all my heart. I know that whatever comes tomorrow â€“ it will be the best tomorrow no matter what.
â€¦ and if I look hard enough, I will see the evidence of miracles all around me.