Whatever it takes, Lord

Parenting is a challenge

Even when situations are positive or fun, there are no shortness of trials that resides within. A paradox of struggle.

But nothing is more disconcerting to a parent than when they have to stand back and watch the child they love self-destruct. Nothing brings us faster to our knees than the very real dread that comes when said child makes bad decisions, or turns from everything they were taught. We beg and plead for their safety and pray for a turning of some sort, back to the safety of the Father’s arms.

I once was so desperate that I prayed “Whatever it takes, Lord. Just please don’t let anything happen before he again belongs to you.”

Seems like a fair enough prayer. Ultimately we are concerned with their eternal being. But what happens when “whatever it takes” means near devastation in this life, in this time.

In this moment.

Last week I found myself wondering if my prayer, my desperate plea for help, was worth it. Here I was, again, sitting in a hospital waiting room wondering if my baby boy was ok. Not a baby any longer, but a grown man with a wife and a child on the way.

Seizures

They had plagued him as a child. The medication left him with other issues that defied physical comfort for years. Eight years it had been, and now another episode. My heart cried for him. All I’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy and to have a fulfilling life. But this, this would challenge all of that.

The hardest part for him would be the inability to drive for six months after.  He would have to rely on his wife, parents, friends and co-workers to get him where he needed to be. Not easy for an independent soul.

But is this reliance on someone other than yourself for a ride, the first step toward reliance on the Father for everything?

but I have to wonder if I brought this on with my prayer…my desperate plea for his life and safety.

Not quite what I had in mind for sure, but then is it ever?

God’s ways are not our ways.

Says so in the Bible itself.

Don’t we balk every time a prayer is answered in a way we did not expect? We ask for one thing and get another….but do we?

The gift of hindsight can help us to see the brilliance of all God’s steps, but how do we trust in THIS moment. How do we become thankful NOW

No Matter What.

This is my constant struggle.

For now I’m just going to walk forward

Today I will just take that next step in being the support to him I was born to be.

…and trust that his Father in Heaven loves him more than I could ever possibly, and He will get him to where he needs to be….

No Matter What.

2 responses to “Whatever it takes, Lord

  1. Oh, Lisa…I have prayed those same words…Please Lord, whatever it takes to bring my son to his knees in surrender. The older he and I both get, however, the more passionate I have become with my plea. Eternity in hell is much worse than hardships during this blip of time on earth. I am sorry for this difficult time in your lives. Praying for your son to find peace in the arms of his Father…and that your mama’s heart will also be filled with peace, knowing that your Father in Heaven has this situation under control.

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  2. Thank you Brenda. Always nice to know that I’m not the only one that is desperate! 🙂 Yes, this life is but a blip. I would much rather his comfort be on the eternity side of things. I know God’s got this, it is what gets me through most days. …and our prayers are a beautiful scent to His nose, how could He help but answer them. Love you my sister! In hardship and in joy!

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