surviving THIS day

by: lisa evola

I live in a broken world.

I don’t mean this planet with its wars or the plethora of other brokenness that takes place in it.  I am talking about

my world

my life

my existence

I am broken, and there are days that it is all I can do just to survive it. I’ve tried to be a good Christian. Minister to the poor, the hurting, the vulnerable. But here’s the truth of it: I am the poor, the hurting, and the vulnerable. Maybe not as much as some, but that doesn’t erase the reality of me.

Yes, placing our focus on those less fortunate than ourselves, can certainly help to put some things into perspective, and it is definitely good to focus on the needs of others. The bigger picture. But what about those days when you just can’t make that happen? The days that you can’t help but wallow in the mire of your own misery and pain.  I’d like to say that I am bigger than that, that I don’t let depression, circumstance, or disappointments control how I think or how I live out my life.

But the reality is: I am broken.

I’m not strong.

I’m not perfect.

And I am not above admitting it.

It is in those times when several of the hard days string together that I question everything.

Purpose

Life

And yes, sometimes the goodness of God.

Oh, I know that God is good – in my mind and soul. But I can’t always feel it in my bones. Have you ever experienced this? 

I ran into an old friend at the park once last summer. We exchanged pleasantries, talked about days past, and caught up on current happenings in our life. She asked about a common friend who is battling cancer and we both expressed our dismay with her struggle.

Then I asked her about HER. How was she doing? Tears filled her eyes to brimming, but she brushed it away saying that although she struggled, it was nothing compared to the struggles of our friend or others. Nothing compared to not knowing how long you will live and what the rest of those days will look like. She made less of the pain that she felt, but the shadow of it still lived below the surface of her words. You could see it there hovering beneath.

I wondered then if pushing away our feelings is such a smart thing to do.

Isn’t pain meant to be felt?

Don’t we need to recognize it in order to truly heal?

Does the deeper suffering of others negate our own experiences?

Jesus said in His famous teaching on prayer:

Give us this day our daily bread

THIS day

What we NEED

He also implored us not to worry about tomorrow, that today has enough trouble of its own.  And I see it. That is why He instructed us to pray for our daily bread: to pray for what we need to survive today.

THIS day

And what we need can change from day to day.  Maybe today I need healing. Possibly tomorrow I will simply need strength or endurance. The Lord knows what we need…each day. Today. Ask for it.

Sometimes this will be support from a friend or even a stranger. Maybe it will be a provision of blessing. Often it is simply the strength to survive today.

You are not alone, we all struggle.  Maybe my struggle isn’t as difficult as yours, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be felt.  It’s okay.

Feel the pain

Experience the struggle

and ask for bread.

4 responses to “surviving THIS day

  1. Excellent post Lisa. You should do a devotional. Reall, you should.

    Also, I am a great believer that God gave us our emotions for a good reason, that we may see inside of us,
    To come into the reality of who we really are and who our God is. Emotions can be good, if processed
    Through Gods eyes, allowing Him to speak to us about us, that we may be healed and set free.

    Love you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad that it resonated with you Barb. Life is hard, and just because your hard isn’t as hard as someone else’s hard….doesn’t make it any less….hard. truly we should let our emotions consume us, but you are right, seen through God’s eyes can bring such perspective. Hugs

      Like

  2. I agree and feel all that is said. I remember days gone by where there was no pain and the joy of serving the Lord in so many ways. Now chronic pain and many surgeries later it is hard. The most important is ask for bread and remember who it is all about,Jesus. Thank you for sharing!

    Like

    • I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much pain. I certainly does take away from the focus in many ways. Joy is a choice, and not one easily made some days. I pray that you receive your bread today!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s