What is going on with my relationship with God? Why do I feel like I’m not connecting? As I spend time in prayer, my mind wanders. I read the devotional, and then read it again, still struggling to comprehend. Why can’t I focus?
The connection is fuzzy, like a reflection in a pond on a windy day. It’s like static on an old AM radio.
The one thing I am certain of is that this static is not a “God thing”. This is all me. God is always there – or rather here. And like my relationships with friends and family, my relationship with God can go through rough patches. Like my earthly relationships, I know that this relationship is not one to give up on, because God never gives up on me. Even when I deserve nothing, He gives His grace freely. He hangs in there with me; helping me, forgiving me, leading me – if only I can stay quiet enough to hear Him.
Part of my problem is every day can’t be a mountain top moment. Why not? Because like an endless string of beautiful, warm, sunny days, I will stop appreciating them. God knows this about me and, I think, wants to make sure I notice the mountain tops. I will remember that Jesus said:
“…I am with you always, even to the very end of the age” Mt 28:20
So now I will pray.
Heavenly Father – I thank you for Your patience and grace, Your presence in my life, Your willingness to help me learn at my own slow pace. Lord God, Your love is overwhelming. I thank You for the chance to have a relationship with You. I pray that I will stop getting distracted and notice all the miracles you send my way. In Jesus’ name I pray.