Fractured Identity

may identity{PIN THIS!}

I sat with my arms wrapped tightly around her. The sobs shook her whole body, breathe catching as she tried to tell me what had happened. She had been told by someone she loved and trusted that she was nothing, worthless, a failure- and it wasn’t the first time. As the words fell from her lips, she sobbed harder and squeezed her eyes shut, as though they would disappear simply through her will. But they wouldn’t – not ever. Words once spoken, can never be erased. Forgiven, yes. But not removed. I reassured her that the failure wasn’t hers, and that letting them saturate her the way they were, was not only bad, but dangerous.

She said she knew that she was better than he had said, yet you could see how the words had cut to her very soul. And to a certain point, she believed them.

This is how verbal abuse works. The abuser wears you down until you simply don’t have the strength to protest any longer. Their words can change who you are from the inside, convince you that you aren’t who you thought you were. And that is a dangerous place to be.

You may not have been verbally abused in this way, but I think that we all have been the recipient of something much more devious – but equally damaging.

A case of mistaken identity – A worldview us.

Society tries to tell us that we are the sum of what we have, the choices we have made, and how we measure up with those around us. What this kind of thinking does is make us a slave to success, money, accolades, and praise from our peers. Not only can this undermine our sense of who we are, but also our purpose in this life. It is not much of a surprise that the rate of suicide has risen dramatically the last several years.

With the increased use of social media to “keep up with the Joneses”, never before have we been faced with such an onslaught of what is going on in other’s lives.  We know all about the new house or new car, we see how they decorate for holidays and the clothes their children wear. We sit in front of our screens seeing their lives, then turn our eyes toward our own and become disenchanted.

Don’t get me wrong, I love pinterest.  I love to see what others have done in their gardens or with recycled furniture. I appreciate the sharing of knowledge as well as the encouragement that I receive to know that, yes, I too can do this!

But social media has its place. {CLICK TO TWEET}

It can enhance, encourage, engage, and entertain. But we need to learn when to step away and see the real image in the mirror.  The one that God created, not the one that we think we want. We need to remember that, with each of the illusions we are presented with, can come other baggage that isn’t necessarily advertised.

Sometimes the big house comes with a big mortgage, designer clothes with credit problems, and decorating faux pas with feelings of inadequacy. Our satisfaction level can go from a 10 to a tentative 2 or 3 at the most. But the bible ensures us that everything we need to be joyful has been, or will be given to us. We don’t need to chase after those glittery charms on the bracelet of life.

{“We don’t need to chase after those glittery charms on the bracelet of life” – lisa evola} – click to tweet

Joy is a promise from God! …and one that is so readily available to us if we could simply remember who we are…and whose we are. The enemy of your soul would have you believe that you can be great if you just had what someone else does: her husband, her house, her car, her money, her job, her luck…

But you are already great. You are great because God says you are. Remember that. You are exactly what He made you to be, and for a reason. That little case of A.D.D. you have? (or whatever your shortcoming in your eyes may be) -Not a mistake. You have that for a reason…it is part of who you are and will contribute to your purpose as He has seen it all along. Finding those reasons are part of the journey that we are all on. Embrace those things you often see as flaws and you just may discover something awesome about yourself.

What would happen if for one day we all stopped looking in the mirror, if we all stepped away from the social media platforms for just a time, and instead looked into the promises that we have been given by the One who made us who we are…He should know best – Yes?

Try it!

Spend one whole day technology free, mirror free, comparison free. See what all the hype is in heaven about the one they call {insert your name here} is. They are talking about you, don’t you doubt it. They see what you don’t – your future you. They see all that you will accomplish from the perspective of the eternal.  And that is nothing to be ignored.

Take the first step of your journey today. That first step toward the joy and contentment that we all so desperately need.

Here are a few of the Creator’s promises for you to focus on during your sojourn:

Peace: You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you. Isaiah 26:3

Hope: Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Guidance: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:6

Purpose: Each one of you must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. 1 Corinthians 7:17

Faith: For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. 1 John 5:4


Do you have a case of mistaken identity? How will you avert your eyes from the distractions of this world to see the real you? Please consider leaving a comment.

meLisa is a wife, a mom, a lover of Jesus, and all around creative soul. She has been gifted as a visionary and leader, and seeks to be obedient in that calling from God. Her personal journey is varied and ever changing as she takes obedient steps each and every day, and follows the leading of the Lord.

Read her personal journey through writing here:


3 responses to “Fractured Identity

  1. Oh Lord, He has been revealing my mistaken identity for years several years. For the first 2 decades of my adult life, I was all wrapped up in my career and accomplishments, but really the Lord kindly showed me I was trying to make myself feel wanted by others and important. I am learning to love my new identity in Chrisr! I pray this happens for my girl too. She comes home today for 5 days. Yeah God! Thanks for the beautiful reminder today Lisa! Love you!


  2. Hi Lisa, FYI, I tired using your click to tweets, and they didn’t seem to work. It took me directly to Twitter But not to a login to tweet option. However, I was able to tweet your post. Just letting you know.

    Someday I’d like to know how to tweet and share where it doesn’t force me to sign in every time, as it takes so much longer. Have a great weekend.

    Love ya, Barb

    Sent from my iPad



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