Have you ever noticed that when you put expectations on others you are usually disappointed, let down and hurt? Honestly, I have created the biggest “let downs” in my life by having unreasonable or even “reasonable” expectations on others. Instead of building the relationship it ends up destroying it!
My upbringing left me not trusting anyone, but having high expectations that no human could ever fulfill…. Then I met Jesus. He, through His Word, immediately started to teach me that He alone was where I could place my hope, belief, trust and expectation that He has “good plans” for me. Three things stood out that would lead me to a happy and peaceful life. Thankfulness; Joy ; and Humility. Happiness is not dependent on my past, present or future, not my circumstances or my emotions. Peace can be experienced in the midst of storms. Joy is a choice, regardless of those around me.
1 Thessalonians 5:18- “In every situation no matter what the circumstances be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 30:11- “You have turned my morning into dancing for me; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”
Proverbs 22:4- “The reward of humility (that is, having a realistic view of one’s importance) and the (reverent, worshipful) fear of the Lord.”
Expectations not founded in Christ create strings attached to how others behave. Stings keep us from enjoying the moment, they bind the other person and wrap us in entangled unhealthy relationships. This becomes a wicked cycle where we and those involved with us are never free to be who we/they really are! Breaking that chain starts with each of us. It requires giving it all to God, allowing Him to mold and change us from the inside out. The wisdom comes from time spent in His Word. Ultimately it comes down to GRACE. Grace from Him for us and grace from us for others.
Expectations kill relationships. Thankfulness, Joy and Humility allow us to be surprised and enjoy every moment. Having Grace ultimately builds relationships.
Ephesians 2:8-10- “For it is by grace (God’s remarkable compassion and favor drawing you to Christ) that you have been saved (actually delivered from judgement and given eternal life) through faith. And this (salvation) is not of yourselves (not through your own effort), but it is the (undeserved, gracious) gift of God.; not as a result of your works (not your) attempts to keep the Law, so that no one will (be able to) boast or take credit in any way or His salvation. For we are His workmanship (His own master work, a work of art), created in Christ Jesus reborn from above- spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used for good works, which God prepared for us beforehand taking paths which He set, so that we would walk in them living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us.” Amplified Bible