…so here’s the thing about choices

From the minute our eyes open in the morning, we are faced with choices.

  • What will I have for breakfast?
  • Which task on my to-do list will I tackle first?
  • How will I spend my money, or free time?


Studies show that the average person makes approximately 35,000 conscious choices each day. I have to say, that is a seriously large amount of choices!  It boggles my mind to think that I will need to make that many decisions today, especially when I can’t even decide between scrambled and sunny side up eggs.

Multiply that by 35,000!  [I think I may just go back to bed.]

The opportunity for getting at least a few of those choices wrong is statistically huge, and if you are a teenager, those statistics increase exponentially. I have certainly had the lion’s share of teen angst in my house, as well as bad or questionable decisions made against my wishes. As parents we get frustrated and angry when our rules are not followed, our advice is not taken, or the decisions of our children come back to haunt us. We get mad. We yell. Sometimes they learn.

But mostly, they wake up the next day and do it all over again.

So here’s the thing –

Jesus said there would be trouble in this life; it is a fact of this life.

Perfect?  ….that comes later.

Generally speaking, the choices that we make each and every day, while important, won’t define our entire lives, or that of your child’s. Mistakes will be made, sown seed will be reaped, and the lessons learned will serve to make us stronger, and hopefully wiser. Some choices will live with us forever, but Jesus overcame the world for such a time as this. He overcame this world so that through Him we would have His peace.

I had spent the better part of 2 years stressing about my daughter’s poor decisions. I paid large amounts of money in an effort to spare her the pain of those choices, yet more came and trouble with it. It wasn’t until I stepped back and resisted the urge to rescue her from herself that real growth came. I prayed and watched. And at first things got worse….much worse.

But then: a breakthrough.

The breakthrough was spiritual. She was not a believer. But in her hit bottom moment of desperation, she began to pray….

…and God was faithful!

She still has a long road to travel, both spiritually and in the world of good decisions, but hope has replaced fear, and the knowledge of God’s love and concern for her has become evident. I believe it is through the prayers of a mother, that real change can take place in the lives of their children, and sometimes a step back is necessary to allow God to work within their hearts.

Don’t get me wrong, it is hard. No one wants to see their child suffer. But the good and godly decisions don’t come easily, and possibly not at all if that desperate moment isn’t reached.

Pray and Trust

God loves them so very much….even more than you do.


Tags: bad choices, desperation, enabling, , hit bottom, , spiritual breakthrough, suffering, Teenagers,

3 responses to “…so here’s the thing about choices

  1. Yes its a tough one isn’t it my friend? To realize we are not in control? I find it a struggle every day, giving freedom, wondering if I am making the right decisions. God reassures, HE IS IN CONTROL, at times I am sure he thinks - what the heck Vanessa?! I thought you realized many times I am in control - Not you. I am here to offload the load you feel on your shoulders. Our children are such gifts, but He uses them to mold us, and for us to realize he is all part of the development :) I loved this one Lisa - and am rejoicing for you and your beautiful daughter <3


  2. Lisa, take two on my comment… For some reason I was booted out :) I loved this post. I understand it so well. Often I try to control a reaction, or control my children…. Its tough - but God has given them to help mold us as well…. So many times God I am sure has said “Vanessa, whats with you - don’t you trust me? Why are you worrying again? I am in control” He has reassured me every time, and His divine goodness always comes through. I am so very happy for what has happened here Lisa - God is amazing isn’t He? Love you girl <3


  3. Honestly letting go is amazingly easy….what I mean is, giving it up to the Lord to take care of has created a sense of peace and ease. My life got simpler. Oh, I am still concerned fro her welfare…that will never change. But not feeling like I have to fix everything is so very cool…and peaceful….and….easy! Thank you for the support :)


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