“Catch on fire with enthusiasm, and people will come from miles around to watch you burn” –John Wesley
I feel….derailed. There isn’t any other way to put it.
There are days that I couldn’t put two words together if my life depended on it. It is a feeling of being lost: lost in a place where nothing is recognizable. And I find myself floundering through the streets of this unknown place, trying to find some semblance of something I once knew.
And I realize that I have misplaced something: My Purpose
Have you ever put your whole being into a project: mind, body and soul, believing that it is the one thing that you are supposed to do? Knowing that it is your purpose, simply to have it all blow up in your face? I’ve had this experience, more often than once I must say, but this last one was enough to make me question everything that I thought I knew. It made me question my ideas and motives, as well as my calling. And when that perceived failure knocked at my door
– I crumbled.
Since that time I have waited….
…I have prayed
….I have wondered and pondered, wandering deeper into unknown territory, and finding myself more lost than ever.
I reread something that I had written only a year ago….
“The message of Jesus is a happy message, a powerful message. It is loving, peaceful, encouraging and life giving! It has the power to transform the world. Why wouldn’t we want to tell others about the things that it has done for us? Maybe you don’t see true change in your life coming from God. Maybe you still need to take that first step, have that relationship with your Savior, and put God first … the rest will follow.”
….and I realized that there is nothing to question.
- We’ve lived life.
- We’ve experienced pain and joy.
- And we have a message.
The way that we share this message may not always work out as we envision it will. But that is not up to us…it is up to God. Our job is to be faithful and to trust. To be faithful with what we know of God. How knowing of His goodness has made a difference in our lives. How accepting His Son’s sacrifice made on our behalf has changed us through and through. How this remarkable grace is available to others if they simply know about it … and accept the gift.
Then … we let it go, and trust Him with the outcome.
Have you experienced disappointment? Felt derailed and left hanging? Have your questioned your purpose, wondering what God has in store for you?
I fear I will always have these questions, but I know deep down that His love is real. And that regardless of what my path may look like, I am to be faithful with what I know, and to share that unerringly. Sometimes it is simply a matter of turning up the heat.
Let’s Catch on fire…again
….and people will come from miles to watch us burn.
Soli Deo Gloria