dear vanessa ~ what do you choose to focus on?

Dear Vanessa,

I feel like my inner soul is continually focusing on what isn’t working in my life. Often, it’s something negative that a person said, and the remark grows into a mountain.   There are instances when I focus on a hurt from my past. Maybe it was someone who made fun of me in elementary school, or a friend that hurt me in high school. Sometimes its moments that I thought defined me as a person that were not so great.  The wounds are deep, and I can’t seem to let go.

I frequently tell myself that I am not good enough, that I don’t measure up.    Then my mind jumps into the future, and fear, anxiety, and what if’s fill my mind.  I know I am not alone in this way of thinking, and I can’t seem to stop myself.   Any thoughts you can provide will be appreciated.


Most women

Dearest Most Women,

This is so true. Most of us struggle with the voices inside our heads.    The voices that tell us that we are not enough or that we need to be more.    The mind is such a powerful thing; it can lead us down a path of destructive self-talk.   Truly loving ourselves is sometimes difficult.

We look in the mirror and see features we would like to change, and our thoughts stop us from experiencing complete contentment.

What if you could choose to focus on the good?   What if you saw something positive in all of the moments that felt uncomfortable?

Imagine this for a moment…

  • I choose to only see the good in the moments that take my breath away (illness, disappointment or trouble that heads our way),
  • I choose to only see good in my boss or coworkers, we are all here for a reason,
  • I choose to only see good in the driver in front of me, he might be having a bad day,
  • I choose to only see good in my spirited family, we complement each other’s weaknesses,
  • I choose to only see good in my friends or relationships, they can be bumpy but the bumps teach us the greatest lessons,
  • I choose to only see good in my children that argue incessantly - they are healthy and happy,
  • I choose to only see good in my spouse who snores too much and likes to be “right”,
  • And I choose to only see good in me because I have been beautifully made.
  • Sounds simple doesn’t it?   Could it be that simple????

The one thing we have been given in this life is the power of choice.    We may not have control over what happens in this life, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.

You can choose to focus within, shift your perspective and see yourself and everything around you through rose colored glasses….

The negatives can feel very real but how you choose to look at them can make all of the difference.

Let it go, choose to love YOU! Put that STOP SIGN in your head as soon as the bad thoughts creep in.

Start by asking yourself today, what makes me beautiful and unique?   And as you begin to do this, choose to refocus your lens everywhere you go, every moment and everyone you touch.

Only you have the power to do so.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Dear Lord God,

Help us refocus on the good.  Help us to see what you have created, the moments that teach us what you want us to see.  Help us to see ourselves, and the people we encounter through your eyes.   I pray for this in Jesus name, Amen.

May you be blessed,


If you have any questions you would like help with please email me @ [email protected], you can also find me @

2 responses to “dear vanessa ~ what do you choose to focus on?

  1. What a beautifully honest message for today and always! This is what I know so many of us need to hear, and something I wish someone would have told me in my days of self doubt and negative thinking. God bless you for your wisdom!

    • Maria, thank-you so much for popping by. I often wish the same, if I could go back to my younger self…. But that is the awesome thing about life, we learn, He reveals the path we need to go. So thankful for His grace in my life. God bless you for popping by and providing such beautiful comments! May you be blessed, Ness

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